27.2.09

sadness

i stare into the skies, knowing that wherever you may be, you're looking at them too.
whats it like where you are?
i hope youre having a nice life.

we rebel

it's a teen thing.

the foam across your eyes

sometimes i wait till they want to kill themsleves before i tell them it doesn't matter.
god.
they think they're indestructible.
but i bring them down with a kick to the knee and a word at their faces.
it's meant to hurt.
it's meant to paralyse.
it's meant to make them wish they hadn't even thought of getting up this morning.


it's meant to destroy.

26.2.09

empty

3.4%

Lying on the ground in a sleepingbag, drowning in depressing music. Yes Im melodramatic but I bet you are too. I'm just waiting for the results...
I hate textbook answers,
and the looks on their faces.
oh how they have changed.
They just dont know how to fill the gaps in their spaces.
All i think of is staring at a brick wall;
graffiti my name into your heart and we'll be sad together
"i can be your umbrella" and soak up your tears.
acid. although i haven't got a plan b.
take off your stupid butterfly wings
we can't fly, dammit.
I used to be optimistic, but now it's hard to believe sometimes.
i just need a stage of self-belief.
and no, I do not need your commentary on my life.
we can't fight forever, you know?
I can't help trying though.
Im only trying to make everyone happy...

we're real

...right?

an unread letter

i pity you sometimes. with your feverous laugh, the way you complain about every fucking little thing. How even when you don't belong in the picture frame, you'll drown the city until you do. And the things you say, it's killing people. You make Romeo look like a jerk, a speck upon your white gown. Sitting on your pompous throne, sceptre in hand, ready to command. You're a Queen, but not through my eyes. And you run, eyes mascara streaked, red lipstick on bathroom mirrors with coffee cups in the basin, down the road, screaming... trying to save them, clicking refresh when you just can't. well, superheroes were made for a reason. To save the world. That's not your job. I pity you. I really do.

there is no such thing as tomorrow

I just don't know how to get through to you and it's slowly eating away at my heart.
"help me get out of this one"
read me and then throw away your magnifying glass. It hurts to think about last summer.
let's just sit on deck chairs on cliffs and eat fluorescent candy. living the american dream....

i will

fly you to the moon, with your superhero backpack if you say yes.
we'll live off our dreams and of course
we'll look back to the blue and green speck called earth
and
we
will
laugh ourselves to sleep.

23.2.09

they won

in the end.

you were right.

i'm going to tell you what it's like to die.
and you'll leave this place a little more scared than when you walked in.
because you'll know it will hurt.
you'll know it will hurt.

pick me up !

you came over to say hello,
and changed the colours in the universe
at the same time-
you are pretty spectacular.

loss > love.

life is one precarious juggling act of trying not to cry.

22.2.09

The Story

The End.
we're driving down the highway and to be honest, we're lost. not in the overwhelming beauty of the landscape, not in the endless crashing of waves against our feet, not in the pile of books in the trunk of the car, but in... life itself. gravity is foreign and we've got fake names. the road is our leader and we are its humble servants. our thoughts tumble out like weed and it seems like a used handkerchief stuck to our collars. lipstick stained coffee cups sitting on my lap, the caffeine is runningrunning in my blood. we're itching for something more, yet even with our fingers outstretched, our arms towards the neverending sky, our feet balancing haphazardly on the rope, it seems like flying with unicorns and dining on mushrooms with the elves won't happen today.
"where will you be when the world comes down?"
"Ill be at the bottom, catching the pieces."
"why?"
"i stole your heart but I promised to give it back in one piece."
The Beginning.


bad ideas trump the millionaires

through your eyes, the world is an oracle for the non-believer;
kisses on envelopes that will never leave the front porch because we're too afraid to feel something.
and everyone
falls
down
.
i wish it would stop bothering me. you feel this rush when people look at you and try to figure you out. i just feel caught in a sandstorm, lost in tangles. if people try, they might actually realise something i don't know. we're using fake ids this week-end cos we just wanna see what it's like to be you. but it's never enough, because we'll just go back to our normal routines in our normal, sterile lives, and every passing glance will mean more to me than it ever will to you.
every passing glance will mean more to me than it ever will to you.
but you don't care, and now it hurts to even utter your name.
and i still see you everywhere.
and i'm setting my clock seventeen hours behind so i'm early for the fall.
the way down is so much quicker when you dont give a fuck.
your fairy godmother can't save you now, bitch.
running
and
running.
it's like a nursery rhyme, but just more.
it's not a wonderland,
it's hell.

-ing

why does everything have to be about doing?
why can't we just ...be

"who are you?"
"i was hoping you could tell me."
he clasps his hands over hers and together they watch as their lives turn into a technicolour blockbuster. it's written in the fates.

for now though, we'll just wait in line for the next movie. the fairyfloss tastes sweeter that way.

21.2.09

If I could build you a time machine, I would.

"we've fallen prey"
"to what?"
"believing in the unbelievable"
it's time to cry and face the fact that we never looked at the front cover.
and a moment of recognition flashes over his hazel eyes as the penny falls to the floor
i'm simply mesmerized by your insanity.
motivate me and buy me a pony
they dont call it a silent gun for nothing.
DEMONS aren't living in your basement
theyre following you home.

BE
LIE
VE

it's a shame the dead can't speak.

leather jackets and black motorcycle helmets

i don't want to miss people who don't deserve to be missed.

20.2.09

sorting out the rights and wrongs

we're living in a fucking bubble of lies.

the last cigarette

i'm alternative and you're a whirling press conference.
we can play superheroes and villains later okay?
just count the money in the drawer and go to space camp
the rejects are the ones holding white balloons on the dance floor.
pitiful
desperate
delusional
theyre being too Specific now and im seeing you backwards
but whether thats actually the right way
i have no clue.
i ran out of ideas years ago.

...dollar phones

pushing random thoughts in shopping trolleys and they're buying mints to pass the time
brothers in metal tins drawing skulls
DEATH DECAY AND DESTRUCTION
you can kind of tell.

i'm going to take you to new york/i'm going to take you to chicago

please do.

make sure your heart is labelled correctly.

my sleep falls like tantalizing waves onto the page like your salty wounds
these images blur into each other
and now we're running from the city
I'm waiting for saturday so I can click the button and say thank you.
movie trailers are like snippets of our lives
over-dramatic
EPIC
and
never enough.


"some things we just cant put into words".

19.2.09

to be

the words blur.

their faces blur.

and there's nothing between here and nowhere to remind you of what you've lost and what you're losing and what you could lose. in the long run.

don't blame me.

i fucking told you with that stake in my heart what would happen.

you just dug it deeper.

sugar you me

Im treading and you're crashing into infinity.

18.2.09

frame us. and then make a wish.

you grab my arm and whisper "how crazy is this?"
WE'RE CONSPIRING. against you against them against me.
management called me to their office
and they asked
"is this bad for you?"
"is this bad for you?"
"
is
this
you
?
"
and he was just so relaxed even though his flight was in 1.4 hours
just smoking in the car
he was a believer of destiny.
forget these tragedies and we'll live forever
spiralling,
and shiny.
"you make me feel sad sometimes"
i cancelled it.

so the frog kissed the princess

lovehearts made of tin foil
if i fall
will you help me run?

just so you know

i was being sarcastic.

not really

and they said, LETS GO.
we're cheating but it's nothing new
fuck the rules, yeah?
failing at photos because, well, i've got better things to create right now
seventeen years and we're only planting trees
fire me
fire me
stick figure drawings have never been more accurate
youre the guitar and it's killing me.
i found ten dollars in a shopping cart.
and my mental rush said
"youre my storybook"
and i'm just a suitcase sitting in the freaking airport
waiting to be claimed.
LOST

WE'RE MIXING INSECURITIES

go go go go go go go go go go go go
if you remember how to leave, that is.
i'm just waiting for the stars to go home
superman, will you help us?

kids on street corners
we just wanna be us.

i take, you cry

i have a lot of things that need to be ironed
we're burning the shards of history that we dont like
your eyes speak more than their words ever will
justify this, please.
and, breathe..


i won't always be there to tell them, you know

but you're here now

you think you could do better?

fuck whatever we think we're doing.
this isn't living.
we're just blowing time on quarters and bus stops.

17.2.09

vampire mermaids and letting it all go

there's mushrooms growing in my garden

are you tired yet?

she asked me once when i was leaving
and i told her
"as soon as the gas is in the tank".
she smiled, but her eyes filled.
with whatever.
i frowned.
i sighed.
i put
my
arm
around her
and i said, "i'm going to save someone's life."
she nodded like she was okay with it,
and i shook her a little.
she looked up at me
whatever streaking down her face
"what if i need saving?"
but the gas was in the tank
and
i couldn't hear her voice
over the engine.

the ignorance of bliss

it's not like i wanted it to be this way
we just fell apart
somewhere along the way
and it did hurt
pain like nothing you've ever felt before
searing limbs
searing limbs
searing-
etc.
but tell me,
did you
plan
every second?
or was it karma
karmakarmakarmakarma
that landed us here?
tell me
tell me
tell me
explain
it
to me.
so/i'll/understand/and
we can live like we were always supposed to.
like we're not.

sweet nobody

guess this is how it's going to be from now on, huh?

well,
i know
everything
about you
anyway.
see you on the other side?

16.2.09

for the

"and it's destiny", "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be". just make it happen just make it happen.
somehow Im feeling a little skeptical, and i can't spell these words that I don't understand. building everything up to be so big
and
then
just, disappointment.
im craving a look into your bitter heart.
living inside tragedies/perpetuate with me
i put your invitation on the floor right next to 7:43:07
these pages might as well be from another galaxy
burning $
i want to sit on a train and memorise the way
i want to lie on park benches and learn these lyrics
i want to jump into a hole and find you
i want to fly away and bring you with me
i want high school crushes and fluttering butterflies in my stomach
i want to write the perfect story where everyone completes each other
somehow i dont think i can.
i want to create moments which we can look back upon and say
we were happy.
just leave it up to the inevitable
its like a volcano waiting to explode and steal your friends again
i want purple mushrooms and updates
celebrated people. we're just trying to understand.
i guess it's a metaphor
so this must be it
everything, just for a sheet of paper
the ink is blotty
the ink is blotty
i cant wear my heart on my sleeve anymore. i'm so sorry.
erase this
and keep it with you forever
never let go of this
let them talk shit
they dont know anything.
(love)
youre gonna scroll down but somethings always missing
so we buy penthouses and racing cars
its not enough is it?
its not enough is it?
leaning back on this wicker chair
grey hints in our hair
worn out hands that have created so much yet failed to save so many lives
the expression on our faces will read like the bible
we'll marvel over the crystal ball when our holiday is over and see the kids on the street and think
how the years have gone past.
and we won't even remember it all
i could cry right now
acoustic versions of our lives
document this please
i think I'll live on the moon now with my camera and my music.
i havent got much to pack and the spaceship's coming soon;
i'll send you a postcard when i arrive.

quit trying to hide from the photo; you can't fight forever.

I failed the class called desperation, but you're always on my mind

september dates in bold because they just cant be concealed
laugh inside this remix

and he flew... but left his cape behind on the street for us to pick up
it's our turn to play superheroes and villains
our life is just one screwed up comic book
and you're the author.

i've got a folder called INCOMPLETE

pens lying scattered on my desk, a reminder of the empty drafts i forgot about

excitement fills the lungs of the crazy kids you used to see at school
now they're riding on ice-cream trucks and stealing flowers from your front garden as they walk past, skipping ropes in hand and singing nursery rhymes.
you can see their eyes
and you can't help but feel a little jealous.


she whispers in his ear of dreams and dark places.

and signs off with 'love'.

it doesn't mean anything yet,

but it will.

soon enough.

I WANT TO GO TO ANTARCTICA

and ride my bike along the skyline.

the date the picture was taken will read infinity
screaming affairs masking last summer..

friends in alliances

first kisses on paper envelopes
i can't wait to see you either.

15.2.09

they just can't wait to meet us

let's get lost and listen to the music.

are you in?

when the modern worlds collide

we'll be standing on our knees, just watching the sky. I'll cry when the clouds disappear, and dream of past times when you say 'hello'. Although I can hear goodbye in my mind, I'll just push it aside and paint this moment we have now. Crash. Click. Crash. Click. Collide. They're pointing at us and they've got hopes pinned all over their faces. "How's life?" they ask at the most inappropriate time. The skyscrapers are falling down. The cars are piled on top of each other. Civilisation. Is. Wiped. Away. We're singing these anthems and only our words remain, to tell the tale of how we forgot about the lives we couldn't live and the jokes we just couldn't bring ourselves to laugh at. They'll snap their fingers at us and wave their magic wands. Clearly they still believe in fairytales. We'll be writing until the worlds collide.

eleven

catch his breath before it falls






we're syllables in your verse.

and they went out to the back to smoke pot

i want to copy the way your eyes look
imprint it into a cast so i can cut stars out and frame your smile
your smile
could tear a fucking city down.
did you know that?

parallel

are you sure you're looking at yourself in the mirror?

dear you,

i say yes.

it's killing you too, yeah?

she said, let me be the leader.
but he insisted that she follow.

giddy

I'm floating on highs and seeing rainbow clouds
the colours
its
all
so
significant
.
this might mean something to you in six years' time
but for now
we're just having fun.

accomplished, she said

and then it made sense
three planes
we're in a new dimension now.

resignated, and blunt

connecting people across this planet
it's like two mice on a string

someone did.

you should know

smile

where are you?

i think im part of your imagination

14.2.09

I predict an explosion

our lines will only fall upon tainted hearts looking for left
we fail to see the rest
and the street lights arent enough, even from below
"THE MAN WHO TRIED TO CHANGE THE WORLD"
(read all about it on page five.)
i promise not to sell your soul to the devil, if you promise to lead me through this maze.
lets not get lost anymore, okay?

secondhand monotomy

seventeen

6:27:7

I AM THE FEAR
YOU ARE THE GUN
AND WE'RE THE FUCKING BURN ON YOUR HANDS.

'tis

we're leading wonderful lives of the unnoticed,
fetching untouched doors until we see the flames
clicking buttons because we cant imagine life without creation

can you feel the change?


!

13.2.09

i can't wait to tell you

a man walks by with a superhero backpack

the
end
.

the boys who nod and wave

please
tell me when the anticipation will end.

he hasn't got a cigarette in his hand

i don't believe in time
i don't believe in time
i don't believe in time
i don't believe in time
i don't believe in time
i don't believe in ...tomorrow.
i'm still dreaming of yesterday.

this part is too

true.

12.2.09

as your breath fogs the window

you will never forget.

isolation chambers

we're just kids trying to create something meaningful. don't put question marks next to our words. we dont want to be forgotten. we want our names in the history books and we want statues in ponds. we're bargaining for concepts to sing about and minutes to freeze. im not sure if you'll like this universe, but you surprised everyone by ruining it for them.
tell us your secrets because we promise we'll keep everything.

red shirts and t

his is war?
sleeping in tv commercials because the world is just too fast for us to blink.
black scribble through the sheets- we're only remixing our lives instead of screaming for yesterday.
folders of hearts unopened if you'll dare turn over the pages...
fake love.
IM FEELING COMPULSIVE

11.2.09

RICH

who cares whats in your pockets.

one new message

Im laminating your smiles and eating green ice cream
(preview)
make-believe dreams in make-believe worlds within real eyes of this video of a life.
stunning*.

10.2.09

a world exclusive

and then the day seemed so much brighter
tomorrow
tomorrow
tomorrow
it's coming it's coming it's coming it's coming it's coming it's coming
you're a fucking masterpiece embedded in my woes
and i couldn't/wouldn't wish for any more
i am in love with their music.

lovers' a lullaby

see how the moon fades into the marble night?
just keep watching.

goodbyes and throwing tantrums

the violin signals that it's time to go
retro billboards saving our yesterdays
stained coffee cups on my desk
i havent opened the books yet.

9.2.09

The 6 most

i cant see the difference between the hate in your eyes and the hypocrisy in the headlines
plastic dolls and racist hearts and fiftieth birthdays
scar
zero

fairytales in my sleeve

documenting our lives in evident diaries
and cue: playback.

waiting, wishing, you're a lifespan stage(!)

pointless textbook answers
"let us help you"
get lost
laughing inside of electric veins
roll 'em in
squinting just to grin at the poster on the wall
drinking gin and theyre driving to college now
black thursday
you cheat.

My Teenage Heart.

Im just wondering if, when everything ceases, our dreams will still be there.
Pitch the idea and drink a glass of lemonade while you're at it
we're generation y pretending to be generation x
stuff it.

8.2.09

photo albums with our world inside

the walls will be blue. there will be purple and yellow and green fish. we will be happy, not sad; never sad. and then, one day, you'll say "it's over". and i'll throw the ashtray at your face.
you'll sue me
and we'll move on.
fuck whoever said love lasts forever.
it can't even last some fish.

i dare you

stepping outside squares
feigning this existence
your fiery eyes could bring the wars back
just dont let the blocks fall down

it's raining

whatever you want to

online invitations 3151
piggy back rides in carnivals and the lights are making me hallucinate
and this song suits this moment
are you really there ?
piano and new friends
shake, good bye

love stories in the dark

ball gowns i'm living in the 1920s
dragons and lairs
say yes

7.2.09

phished

muchly. its a compliment and youre pretty captivating to me.
staring at universal eyes through a fish tank
and it feels very real
customise your life yourlies

you fail

fight

MARS, THE UNIVERSE

and blah, blah, blah fhwuar9afpfwh8294pa002qha1 you get the rest.

4041

and then its VICTORY
Im what i will become
and we'll smile at page sixty and realise that we're not our dreams
our dreams have become us
and hatred is an object
join a group;
youre a fucking statistic
perfecting this moral corruption of society
tuesday-26-sunday

"the levitating cow doesn't need a bed"

he's your last everything
2.9 days ++ counting
i fell.

6.2.09

singing along, eyes closed

i waited for you and you never came.
that was when my heart broke.

and it's suddenly... here.

there's these drums beating out sounds in the back of our lives
and we want for them to stop just stop
we don't think it would take much
and we don't think it would hurt
we just want it to stop.

fuck it

if we're meant to change the world, it'll just happen, right?

5.2.09

saviour?

track seven
trying to fill up this desolate, white space
never (whisper) never
theyre so afraid of losing everything that they always will
PREVIEW
PREVIEW
CREATE

guns and insecurity

SMELL THE ROSES, so they say
rambling on- she seems to like rambling on
aromatherapygettingnewpuppiesandtheusual
shaking your head and tapping your fingers on the desk
wasting paper
she seems to do that well

4.2.09

wild world

so this is our new corner
laughing at blue stars that smile
crashing into the latest headlines on this Grey footpath

3.2.09

golden trim on white doors

close your eyes.
put your hands on the wall.
pull yourself along like he taught you.
whisperwhisper shuffleshuffle
is this the right way?
hand in front of hand in front of hand in front of hand.
or whatever.
as long as you get to sleep tonight without thinking about him.

2.2.09

mass communication

we're meant to follow these obscene rules they give us because someone somewhere once said it was the right thing to do.
we're meant to obey every single command they give us while we smile up at them like dogs.

we hate it
we hate it
we hate it.
we hate it with a passion found nowhere else and they know it.

but we'll live by it anyway.
because we know that one day, we'll be far away from here.
and while we won't remember their faces, they'll remember every single one of our grimaces and our flinches and our scowls and our smiles.
they'll remember every detail because their lives are too pathetic and unimportant for anything else.
and we'll be gone.

just like we always wanted.

one day someone will sit you down at a table and tell you

that it's not supposed to be this hard.

love/hate story

DO YOU GET THE CONNECTION?

2 weeks and 2 days

they can almost taste the music in their veins
beating beating BEATING RUSHING RUSHING rushing rushing feeling believing
its not their hearts pulsating to the thumping of your pretty little feet
its their minds, its their humming minds
crashing into the lyric and it just feels so profound
!!! i need these exclamation points to prove something

life in textbooks

we're living in slow motion and wondering when we'll be able to fly
drawing on faces to hide...nothing
crycrycrycrycrycrycry cries
youre a princess and theyre just lowly frogs