5
4
3
2
one.
there isn't anything in this moment other than the desire to escape, to run, to flee, to hide.
to push your breathing mouth against something and feel your chest tighten as the whatever you have your lips pressed against denies you the right to air, to life, to living, to breathing.
it wasn't planned, organised, thought about before its occurence.
you didn't particularly want it, however you didn't particularly not want it either.
you never really understood yourself, knew yourself, recognised yourself.
you never-
you don't get why you care so much.
you don't get it.
your mouth opens in an attempt to go on living, but you refuse to lift your face, feel the sweet relief of air on your lips, tongue, teeth, throat, chest, lungs.
your chest, your head, your body; everything aches.
and you need the air or it'll be the end.
so you make a choice, a decision, an option in the myriad of ones available to you.
and that choice sets you free.