on track.

i know where i want to be in ten years' time.
i can see it too clearly, perhaps.
some say this is a bad thing.
others say it's a good thing.
me?
to me, it just is.
always has been, always will be.
i think, tomorrow, i will.
today, i chose not to.

i know where i want to be in ten years' time.
but, for now, i am lost.
and, for now, i don't know.
i guess, for now, that's okay.

X

for a moment i stopped believing in you.
i doubted you.
once again, you proved me wrong.

this is everything i've always been too afraid to let myself want.

and now that we're finally here, i'm just hoping i don't fuck it all up.

it is all momentary

so you know when you get that awful feeling inside and you don't know why ? or you think you may know why but you don't really want to admit it to yourself ?

fuck my life.

i liked you till things changed.

the moon rises between wispy clouds.
silvery light blooms into open windows of big houses, illuminating forgotten objects waiting on tables.
it is nothing but what you make of it,
and of it she makes the beginning of something bigger.
or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
hearts throb in chests; listening ears pause, mouths form an 'o' of unexpectedness. something so easily heard, forever ignored, until...
she pats the cat's head with shaking fingers and sad eyes.
she doesn't want to be here, doesn't want this happiness, this anything.
she's waiting for things to change; not for them to get easier, exactly, just for them to get better. even if that involves pain and tears and anguish.
the moon rises.
with it comes the torrential down pour of dismal apathy.
water fills her boots.
it drenches her soul.
she could be crying, but there is nothing to distinguish between her tears and the rain.
the moon rises.
light fills the world, shadows chase innocent victims across skylines of violence.
the moon rises.
children whisper of fairytales with happy endings because their reality doesn't include one.
the moon rises.
and, in the end, it leaves.
light trails after it like a lost broken man chasing his dream.

here is to everything we've ever been and everything we're going to be. here's to memories we'll never forget and memories we've yet to make. here's to living, laughing, loving, losing, letting go. here's to flourishing.

lover you, jeremy.